Why do I say it's not just hair? Very simply, because that is one of the hardest things Dana will have to go through again and I hate the fact that she has to endure it AGAIN. You could shave my head as I type this and I wouldn't think about it. That isn't the same for the most important woman in my life and not for any of the other women I have talked to where I actually value their opinion.
From my humble, male perspective and listening skills, hair to women is part of their identity. It is part of what makes them so beautiful to us cavemen. Our three year old daughter already knows that girls are pretty in part because of their hair. It is what makes them unique. It is a routine. By losing it you take all that away. It then makes them a patient. It makes them different. It jacks up their routine. I am quite biased when it comes to how beautiful Dana is and for me she could be bald for the rest of her life and I wouldn't care. But that isn't what my point it is.
My point is this, cancer sucks. I would trade places with Dana in a heartbeat to take every ounce of pain and suffering away from her. If you haven't had a close family member or friend go through cancer treatment you don't know how much it sucks. I am preparing to have my wife and mother of our children in the hospital for about a month. Think about that. It's a big difference from the routine business trip or get away weekend most folks take. Then once she comes home she still has one-two months of recovery at home. She had a battery of tests late this week as part of the screening process for the transplant. Over the next two weeks she will take injections to move her stem cells to the blood stream from the bone marrow and then harvest them. Once she is in the hospital she will have five days of high-dose chemo. That is one of the worst parts for me, because all I can do watch.
I apologize for the down note, but we have taken an unofficial position to help educate everyone on what really happens when someone has cancer and is treated for it. The impact is on the patient physically and mentally. The caregiver begins an incredible juggling act of schedules that will make your head spin. That is for the adults. We can process it and understand what is going on and why things are being done. But we also have young kids, I am really worried about how they will handle it as well. My hope and prayer is that somehow I will have the strength to keep them on tract and get mommy home and better.
We are praying for Dana and your family. You could not have said it better Todd, Cancer does SUCK but we are there for our loved ones to help them through it! Dana is strong and a fighter! Dana is going to fight the good fight and kick this cancer's a**!!!
ReplyDeleteTodd, you, your wife, and family are all in my prayers during this time. May God bless you all during the treatment and recovery.
ReplyDeleteTodd, As someone who knows all too well what the caregiver role entails (an so recently) I empathize with you. Due to the scope of Shaun's surgery, I am still a cancer caregiver most days and will be for the distant future. I am so pleased that you chose to blog this time. I debated it, but found that caringbridge was all I could manage with a newborn. All our love!!
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